ho ho ho..

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www.skward.tumblr.com

snow daze

The unfortunate temperatures of London as of late have really made me question my university choice--simply due to the geographical factor, of course.
I've said it before (a few times, I'm sure) and I'll say it again: I HATE THE COLD.
If you've had the pleasure of running into me on campus or just in general within the last couple of weeks, during which the temperatures have plummeted to the negative 20's, it's probably quite obvious. I walk around bundled in mismatched mittens, scarves and hats (only the warmest will cut it), swearing to myself and tripping over my own feet. I arrive at my location ready to punch someone straight in the face, my nose running and cheeks burning.
I'm a joy in the winter, really.

HOWEVER, let's just discuss the fact (while we're on the topic) that it's not even winter yet. Technically, according to the laws of nature, it is still "autumn". I find this hard to believe, as I'm staring out my window right now at four feet of snow and an apparent icicle forrest that has taken form on my roof.
What is happening to the world!!

If you haven't guessed it by now, I'm not having the best of nights. I am attempting to blame the snow and cold weather but, while it is a contributing factor, today and tonight have just blown in general.
It was a snow day today(again.), and while it didn't affect any of my exams (thank god), it did prevent me from getting to the library, the only place I can remotely focus on studying. I spent the afternoon procrastinating in every way I could, and now I'm sitting here the night before an exam for a class I never attend, with only about 1/3 of the course information memorized, procrastinating MORE by blogging.
I really have no one to blame but myself and my apparent A.D.D, but it's still frustrating.

Anyway...
Tomorrow is my last exam of the year (awaahooohhhwo!) and then it's home for the holidays! ...Kinda. I'll be sticking around London for a few post-exam days of drinks and roommate birthday celebrations (the little one is finally legal!). And THEN it's home for 2 blissful weeks of turkey, presents, and friend reunions. Those are my favourite part about the holidays: friend reunions. It's not necessarily a huge deal, since the majority of my high school lives in London anyway, but its always great to have everyone together in one place and under so much alcoholic influence.
It's the most wonderful tiiiime of the yeaaaarr.

I can't WAIT for tomorrow to be over.

stranded

I'm sitting at home--home home-- wondering why I don't check the weather more often.
I opted to drive home this Saturday because my family was going Christmas tree hunting/decorating and, since I'm lame, I really wanted to be involved. So I drove the 1.5 hour drive home with the plan to return to London on Monday.
However, when I woke up this morning I was informed that London has been covered with a ridiculous amount of snow. Everything is closed down (including school) and driving is ridiculous. And it's NOT SUPPOSED TO LET UP ANYTIME SOON.

And here's the thing: I'm down for snow days and it's wonderful that school is cancelled. But all of my exam studying materials and clothes are in London, and apparently I will not be able to get back there anytime soon.
So here I sit, at home, anxiously waiting for The Weather Network to inform me that the snow is finally slowing down.

I keep forgetting winters here and I actually have to keep an eye on the weather before I set out on journeys.
Fock.

Also, I may or may not be a little jealous that my roommates get to play in the snow without me.
God damn.

happy sarah

I'm sitting on my couch, tea in hand, listening to the Galaxie Christmas channel, and watching the first real snow fall of the season. Big, fat flakes of snow. And the best part? It's not even cold out. It's perfect.
I haven't felt this happy for a good few months, to be honest. I feel like a little kid again, and I just want to stay here all day.
Maybe I will.

huckleberry finn and holden caulfield

Thursday nights in make me feel like I'm doing something wrong.
I don't have class Fridays, so when I don't spend my Thursdays having fun with my friends it's just like those weekend nights when you stay in watching movies. You know you don't want to be out, but a part of you is kinda like "you're being lame".
Yeah.
I spent my night watching terrible free Movie Network movies with my roommate and trying (and failing) to read what I have left of Huck Finn.
I've been enjoying Huck Finn, actually (don't worry I'm not gunna book review it). I seem to have some sort of weird attraction to books with relatively no morals or character development within them. I mean, look at my obsession with Catcher in the Rye. I've read a book 7 times about a guy who literally spends 200 pages aimlessly walking around, complaining about his life, and calling everyone phoneys. He doesn't learn any lessons and doesn't give two shits. Yet I love him.
And now Huck Finn isn't learning any lessons and doesn't seem to give two shits either.
I don't know how I feel about him though.. my feelings are neutral right now.

I don't think most people care hehe. I don't usually blog about literature but the sickness may be starting. I'm switching over to an English major next year, so I'm assuming reading "classic" novels will take up the majority of my life, meaning it will probably be blogged about more and more ("Oh Sarah I'm sooooo stoked").

I suck tonight.

my giirll talkin bout my girl (my girl)

Sienna Miller rocks. She's probably one of my favourites. These are from Nylon in February 2007... I was obsessed with this issue. Weohh!

shakin' all over

My nightly caffeine habit needs to be kicked.
I'm sitting in my room with a Starbucks cup in my hand, tapping my feet wildly and trying to think of fun things I can do to get my buzz to wear off faster.
I think...I think this is because I seemed to be under the impression that I was in some way immune to caffeine and its uppity effects on ones body. I really did believe that, you know. For a long time.
I used to drink a really gross amount of caffeine in high school. After my morning coffee I'd purchase a 4 pack of Red Bull, down that by 1, and burn through about 3 more coffees before dinner. It was a bit troubling, especially because I did it because I thought I needed energy, but after a couple months of the habit I felt zero effect from all the shitty I was pumping into my bod.
For someone who doesn't really have an addictive personality, caffeine got to me.
Anyway, I kinda just fell out of habit and stopped drinking so much caffeine by the time I hit grade 12, but my body's resistance to react to caffeine never seemed to really leave me. I still drank 2-3 cups of coffee a day, but it was all for comfort and out of routine...never for energy. It never made me feel awake. And that is why I always made myself a cup of tea before bed, and still do to this day. I could have a delicious hot drink and pass out 5 minutes after.
But GUESS WHAT.
The past few weeks of drinking tea before bed and, really, just drinking caffeine in general has proven that my body misses the caffeine effects and has bestowed them back upon me. I can now drink my cup of coffee before class and actually have the energy to walk my ass there, and get the jitters after my large Timmies regular (om nom nom nom).
And with knowing this, you'd think I'd be able to stop making and buying teas before bedtime. But nope, apparently I cannot.

....Well, thats all. I just needed to type something.

Goodnight :)

PS- Me right now:

expecto patronum

I'm sitting in bed right now and am far too awake. Would you like to know why? I will tell you.

I awoke this morning to a very dark room, which was an instant give away that it was a shitty, grey day out. For the first time in forever, I didn't have my cell phone sleeping right next to my head, so I wasn't sure of the time, but I could hear my roommates milling about in the kitchen so I figured it had to be about 9am--right before most of them were off to class.
I kind of laid in bed for another 10 or 15 minutes, just casually trying to get myself back to sleep since I don't have class until 7pm on Tuesdays. But after trying, I realized I wasn't tired at all. If anything, I felt overtired because my head was kind of heavy and my eyes hurt. SO, I made my way out of bed and over to my cell phone to take a peek at the time, which was...1:00!!
Well, well, well.
For a lot, I'm sure this isn't a big deal. It's not THAT late. But for me, especially in the dark-at-4:30 winter months, waking up at 1:00 is wasting your whole day. Not to mention it makes ya feel so shitty.
Yelling at myself (not literally) for sleeping in so late, I tried my best to get up and moving. But as I emerged from my room to find all my roommates watching afternoon game shows, my motivation to get up and go kind of died and I spent the next 3 hours watching people guess lyrics and make deals. Great accomplishment? Definitely not. I basically slept all day and now, unfortunately, will not be able to sleep tonight.

But don't worry, I'm not the world's biggest lazy bum. At 6:00 I finally got myself together and made my way to school for my 7pm night class. It was the worst walk in the rain, and halfway there my umbrella was blown completely inside out (people laughed) so I was soaked by the time I sat down in lecture. I sat for 2 hours and finally sweet talked my roommate into picking me up so we could head to the grocery store and stock up on appropriate Victorias Secret Fashion Show viewing snacks (celery, cheese, and party mix...?).
We then proceeded home to watch the show. I already blogged about it. Hiya.

Anyway, there you go, the story of my day.
I really wish I could sleep right now. I've started this new habit of watching Harry Potter in bed while simultaneously posting things to my blog and Tumblr. I'm becoming a bit of a blogging junky. I think it's because I'm even more attached to my computer than usual (if it's possible) these days because of all my school work.
It's definitely becoming one of my new favourite things to do during the day. I even shared my tumblr link on Facebook, which is something I'm not usually down to do...the whole promoting my self on FB thing, I mean. It makes me feel kind of awkward. But I kinda figure, whats the point of writing stuff on the interweb if you don't want people to read it. Right?

I'm going to make some Sleepy Time tea and settle in with The Prisoner of Azkaban...

girl crush

Tonight was, as I'm sure most of you know, the VS Fashion Show.
After gathering as many snacks as we could (you know, to really amp up the feeling of guilt and sadness while viewing) my roommates and I settled in to watch the 1 hour spectacle.
Every year I think the designers outdo themselves more and more. The outfits and the ideas were so amazing. I'm posting a few of the look that I remember screaming at tonight..

sunshine

American Gold spring '11..:)

tumblr AND bloglovin, all in one night!

I've had tumblr for about a year now, but I think I'm going to finally start using it:
http://skward.tumblr.com/

AND I joined bloglovin tonight, SO:
Follow my blog with bloglovin

satellite of love

Is it cliche to say I'm stuck in a rutt at this time of year?
My thoughts are: probably.
I know it's a stressful time for all my fellow Unversians--thats no secret. I'm being complained to just as much as I'm complaining to others and the exhausted, I'm-longing-to-go-to-the-bar-tonight-and-not-write-that-paper look that 75% of campus is sporting these days is a dead giveaway. But it's insanely unfair and unjust, don't ya think, for one of the most stressful times of year to be occurring as we make our way into hell (aka winter)? It's not enough that we have to deal with the terrible cold and dreary days, but now we can't even distract ourselves from them with our social lives because we're stuck in our rooms or--better yet, my favourite place--the library. The good ol library. My second home.

I get highly effected by times of the year like this, and I start to become really anxious and bored with my daily routine. And since this routine for the past 3 weeks has been wake up, go to class, go to library, come home late, watch TV, sleep, repeat..it's obvious how one can become easily bored. But it still blows.
This little rutt of mine leads to me doing a whole lotta thinking. My brain is already working at 2x it's usual rate from all the researching and writing, so why not expand it even more by reevaluating my life for the millionth time? Yeah. So. I've been in this mode where I've been looking at all aspects of my life and figuring out what I'm happy with, what I'm unhappy with, and what I'm just completely, 100% not sure about. And it's kind of ironic, don't you think, because all the thinking is adding on this unnecessary stress and digging my rutt deeper. Oh my oh my oh my.

Anyway, yes. That is what is up with my life right now. I'm stressed and I'm thinking a lot. Oh my god Sarah, really?? You've neverr been like this before (sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm)!!!

BUT on a wonderful, bright, and shiny note, I'm so happy that Christmas is coming up. Call me a lame-o, but the holidays make me beyond giddy. Once the lights start going up and the Christmas carols come around in full force, I'm 8 years old again and everything is magical and perfect.
Because of my busy schedule, I haven't had much time to focus on Christmas YET, but once I'm out of my rutt in a couple of weeks, I'll be in the celebrating mode. And the gift giving mode (with the little money I have...). The best part of the season.

I'll be posting my own Christmas wish list on this thing soon. It's a wish list, so it's not practical. All I really want and hope for this Christmas is grocery store gift cards and a durable winter coat so I don't freeze to death on my walk to and from school. Ohhh the weather outside is frightful..

i like brian

Brian Lichtenberg caters to my obsession with oversized shirts and leggings.
And has created the dress that I really want to be wearing this NYE...but you know, for about 1/5 the price. Let's be honest, my bank account could afford a sleeve of this beautiful blue one:

alice+olivia

I love Alice + Olivia. The spring'11 collection is ridiculous. It's like it hits on every decade and style at least once. Please observe

awooo!

I would probably never wear this thing in public.. but it looks so warm and it just rules, to say the least.
via Spirithoods

something beautiful, but so dysfunctional

The transition from autumn to winter is probably one of my most feared things.
I know a lot of people love winter with it's beeaauutiful snow and sparkly-ness, but when I think of winter all that comes to mind is frostbite, bad hair days, runny noses, and all in all just one very grumpy Sarah.
As with the end of summer, I try to deny the end of autumn for as long as I possibly can. When the temperatures begin to dip into the single digits around the beginning of November, I continue to wear my paper thin jean and leather jackets with absent minded regard to the aching chills I feel when walking outside. And when I awake to my car covered in a layer of frost, I quickly scrape it off to hide any evidence that winter is looming in on me, and drive with the window down to make myself feel better.
Basically, I go into denial.
This year's transition has been exceptionally terrible as it has come during my busiest time at school. My desire to attend classes has been compromised. Because I refuse to bring my winter coat and mittens out of the closet, my 10 minute walk to class is a shivering mess of zero fun that I try to avoid at all costs. The fact that walking to school makes me want to hop on the first plane to LA is not the greatest since I seem to have something due in a different class every day of my life.
And THEN, next to the icky cold, there is the darkness.
When I had an essay to write the other evening, I went for a nap at around 4:00 in expectations of awaking around 5:30 to get to work. However, when I awoke at 5:30 I was in a pitch black bedroom (yeah, fuck da time change) and so disoriented by the fact that it had suddenly become the middle of the night, that my motivation to work plummeted and I spent my night in front of the TV shouting things at Pat Sajak and Alex Trebek.

So, I guess what I am trying to get at here (with all my bitching and complaining) is, I am looking for a place to live in either California or Mexico. If someone could please contact me with any offers, I will be packed and ready to go within 24 hours of you doing so.
Thank you for your help.

georgie peorgie

Georgia Jagger.
Great genes in this family.

friday night...

It's only 7:30 but it feels like it could be midnight. As I sit here overly prepared to go out--dressed up and contemplating opening the wine-- I got to thinking.
Have you ever said or done something..anything.. and afterward been so utterly baffled as to why, because the thing that you said or did is not how you feel and not how you wanted to come off?
I've been doing this a lot lately. Reacting to situations or making comments in ways that I don't understand. Basically, I've just been coming off completely wrong to a lot of people and it's starting to become a frustrating occurrence in this crazy little life of mine. Perhaps I have lost my ability to demonstrate the things I'm thinking in my mind through emotions and words, or mixing up the emotions and words I should be using in regards to what I'm thinking.
I think I'm making sense.

dear justine

ACCEPT THEM INTO YOUR LIFE.
ALEXANDER WANG SAYS SO.
:)

i don't know how to be something you'll miss

haunted

It's been a while since I've been alone when that clock hit midnight and the 24th of October became the 25th.

Last night (this morning), when my birthday finally came around and I fiiinally turned 20 just like all my friends have been doing for months before me, I was alone. And I didn't quite know what to do with myself.
I'm used to jumping up and down, taking birthday shots, kissing, dancing..basically celebrating my own personal New Year. But, because it was a Sunday night and I have a midterm on Tuesday that I'm in no way prepared for, when my Blackberry clock turned to 12:00 I was sitting on my bed, listening to Kings of Leon, with my English textbook in one hand and a tea in the other.
It was kind of weird, and I got a little awkward about it.
I mean, what was I supposed to do when it turned into my birthday? Pat myself on the back? "Good job Sarah, you officially completed two decades of living." Weird.

Anyway, it's officially my 20th birthday. Not to be a downer or anything, but I think it's safe to say this is the least excited/happy about a birthday I've ever been. I've always been a pretty big lame-o in the sense that I get super giddy and selfish around my birthday, believing an entire week of celebration should be devoted to me and fun should constantly be being had by myself and everyone around me.
But this years different. October 25th completely snuck up on me, and I almost wish it hadn't come so soon. Not because I'm not ready to be 20 (I've been telling people I'm 20 since March, simply because all my friends are soo I just kept forgetting I wasn't) but because I feel like I almost don't have time for a birthday. Seriously.
School seems to be taking over my life, and all I'm going to be doing today is sitting in the library reading about culture and Shakespeare. And this month, with everything in general, has been crazy for me and removed me from a birthday celebrating state of mind.

REGARDLESS, I guess it is kind of cool that I'm starting an entire new decade of my life. It's funny because, growing up, 20 seemed soo old to me. I always thought of 20 as the official "adult grown up age". Officially out of the teens and in the twenties. Wa wa wee wa.
But it doesn't feel that old. I don't feel like an adult at all haha..I still feel like a goofy kid who's just trying to figure out what she wants out of life.

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me.
xoxo

it's my birthday in 5 hours

But I am the least bit excited. Suck it midterms..

5am

It's a good feeling kinda night (or morning, I suppose). I'm tired and done with being angry, bitter, and most of all sad. Chin up sunshine, you're juust fine.
Kbyee

stay gold

I came across my journal from 2008: my final year of high school and my post grad year. I was smoking weed like a fiend at this time in my life, so theres copious amounts of writing in this thing. I mean, copious. Page after page of letters and ramblings, scribblings of Dylan lyrics (ohhh how cliche of mee) and plans about my future.
About halfway through the notebook is a list I made called "To Do in 2009". I remember making this list because I was having a particularly thoughtful night and was really stoked on life. I vowed that I would do everything on the list, so i tried to make the goals achievable and realistic (but fun also, of couuurse).

Here is the list, and here is what I accomplished:
-Get into Uni or College [check]
-Actually attend Uni or College [check and check]
-Go to more concerts since you haven't been to one in a year [check]
-Drink less, blaze more [hahaha, sums up my attitude in 2008]
-Go blonder [check]
-Stop using the computer so much [....]
-Go on a vacation
-Find a good guy to date. A nice one who actually treats you well. Seriously. [...]
-Read this Jack Kerouac fellow and figure out what he's all about [check]
-Stop eating like shit [LOL]
-Stop overanalyzing shit [LOL]
-Have mad parties at cottage with all your friends [check!]
-Buy a puppy [never. I was high.]
-Write every day [check]
-Meet one of your idols
-Learn to play guitar
-Learn to save money [check kinda]
-Stop worrying and just live life [I like this]

I always like coming across things like this. Not only is it nice to compare, but it's nice to see what things have changed about me and what things haven't. After reading this list, I'm happy to say I think I've changed for the better.

That's all.

oh loverboy

Australian line Lover. Love(r) this!

back to december

Ahh T Swift. My guilty pleasure who, I'm pretty certain, can read the mind of every girl out there when she's writing her songs. I fished around for some of her new stuff and am pretty excited about what I found. This song is my favourite..

october 14

"I think it's always good to get beyond your experiences, you know? I hate it when people take themselves too seriously, don't you?"

free me

Free People Fall Collection..nom nom?

opposite ends of the spectrum

my week:
my weekend:
My taste is versatile. Let's have fun.

fully, completely

I've never been particularly great with change.
The wanted change-the change that comes with the decisions we make for ourselves-is tricky to me. Any position I put myself in I usually regret for the first week or two. Whether it be school, jobs, long trips, etc., I spend the first week of the new chapter of my life full of regret and worry, constantly wondering if I was better off where I was before. I'm nervous and I'm uncomfortable. But it settles in, I settle in, and I'm fine.
The unwanted change- the change that hits you out of the blue and knocks you down so hard you wonder when and if you'll ever get back up- is even trickier. It's unexpected, painful, and much harder to push past, even though these unwanted changes are apparently things we all must go through. When the unwanted change hits me, when something happens that I was in no way expecting and am in no way ready for, I get thrown pretty far off.
I've always envied the people who can take the unwanted change and make it into something positive. These people are the "everything happens for a reason" people.
I used to tell myself that everything happens for a reason. But the more I said it, especially these past couple of months, the more I realized how silly it sounds. It's the easy way out. The way to justify something sad and try to counteract it. And it's great, especially as the comforter, to be able to dish out these words to the sad and down. But really, I don't think everything happens for a reason. I think we make day to day decisions-sometimes right, sometimes wrong- and we face the consequences of these decisions. And we learn from them, even if we really don't want to accept them. We have to face the music, get up off our asses, and deal with it.

always

I've been seriously slacking on the personal-type entries on this thing.
The blog I had before was chalk full of my deepest emotional turmoils, the exciting and not-so-exciting happenings in my life, and boring stories of what movies I watched on dull days. But I've found with this new blog I've really been sticking to posting about fashion.
To be honest, I probably need to write now more than I ever have. I can feel it inside me, and I've been trying so hard, but it simply isn't happening. It's kind of like the ultimate writers curse. When I truly just want to put pen to paper (or fingers to keys) I have nothing going on in my mind that I feel is worth writing about and I'm uninspired as fuck. Yet when my mind is on overdrive and all I want to do is get everything out, my attempts to write fail miserably. Just miserably. Like tonight..right now. I began typing with the intention of spilling my guts to the vast world that is the internet, but now I have absolutely zero desire to tell any of you what is going on with me (no offense).
Let's just say this past month has been a major learning experience for me and there has been absolutely so much going on. I've been up and I've been down, but I've definitely realized a lot about myself that I always knew, but just needed a refresher course on.
xoxo

uhh, ugg?

It has come to my attention over the past few years-as the snow has come and they've kept reappearing- that Uggs won't be leaving us anytime soon.
I think I am supposed to hate them..they've become so in fashion that they're out of fashion right? But I will not deny that I own a pair and am guilty of slipping into them on those lazy winter mornings when the last thing I want to do is get dressed up for class.
However, as I was scouring the Nylon blog today (one of my favourites), I came across something that I found a little bit confusing and just wanted to repost.
It looks like Jimmy Choo has paired up with Ugg to create a stylish(???) line of the over popular boot. Here is a picture of so called stylish boot:

I don't know how I feel. I've been kind of looking at the picture for a good ten minutes, trying to picture myself wearing these things. Does anyone really need a pair of leopard print/bejewelled Uggs?

wanna whole lotta love

My new shoes and stuff!