ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I am a creature of habit.
I suppose we all are, in a way. We like to be comfortable, and our habits create that comfort.

My habits are more like routines. From the age of 8 to around my 2nd year of high school, I was so dedicated to my nightly routines that I legitimately feared breaking them would curse me with brutal luck and terrible karma (yes, I 1000% believe in karma). I believed not doing everything the same before going to bed each night would like, kill off one of my friends or cause me to fail English class. I swear to god. And I don't particularly know what made me so superstitious, because I was and still am in no way superstitious with things such as broken mirrors and awkwardly placed ladders.
But there I was, doing the exact same thing every single night before I could attempt to sleep, and I didn't feel comfortable unless this simple routine of mine was performed. It was like this case of mild OCD that no one really knew I had. My dirty little (weird) secret?
Anyway, after some self critiquing in my mid-high school life crisis (this is when I turned "scene kid" for a few months. Let me tell ya, what show.) I realized this wasn't particularly OCD as much as it was this massive fear of change in me.

When it comes to change, I'm a little hypocritical about the matter. I desperately desire new adventures every day of my life. I want to go everywhere, I want to see everything, I want to meet everyone (who doesn't). Yet as soon as I do something different, my mind starts reeling with this massive sense of regret, and begins to torment me for making the decisions I make. However, what I've learned as I've grown up and been out in the (somewhat) real world, is that I'm not the only one who feels this way with new experiences, and the feeling almost always goes away after a week or two.
I guess what I'm getting at in this ramble is that I wish I knew that the feeling went away when I was in high school. I wish I knew that almost every experience always turns out to be an interesting and exciting one, no matter how big of a change it is and how terrified and full of regret I feel at the start.
It's a fantastic realization, really. I guess living in the same town my entire life (a town where both my parents were also born and have lived for both their 48 years), I just didn't grow up being used to change.

I still enjoy my little habits and routines (like Starbucks coffee and country road driving every Saturday afternoon) but if I have to break them or suddenly am not able to participate in them anymore (like if Starbucks closed--god forbid) who cares.

That's really all.